A large part of the day has been spent in front of db.de - a wealth of trainy goodness. It looks like a couple of mega-trips are on the cards. First it’s off to the overtly exotic South of France via Cologne (food, coffee, wine, wedding,  Swede of fine build, mustard, Frenchy and most probably mosquitoes) with the great iron road.  Then a short recovery period in the Swedish utopia before jetting off on an equally long flying adventure. Not with a whirlwind, red shoes, small dog called Toto and my whole house, but with the trusty Karrimor and a higher dose of mosquito repellent. It’s off to Mexico! Sister Giles, here I come!

In other news - my fellow Aries is heading for home tomorrow, so we had a little of our usual childish activity yesterday to celebrate a tremendous(ly irritating) friend!

There are few moments so simply contented than re-entering consciousness after deep, dreamless sleep and realising that there is the physical warmth of another soul beside you. The half whispered hello and a weighted hand creeping round your waist. The air is full of human, in it’s most honest state, unadulterated by the days rigorous hygiene routine. A beating heart and eyes reluctant to lift their lids in this short lived sensational wonderland.  Here there is safety. Closeness in the division of a bed. Breaking the magic and putting a naked foot on the cool wooden floor in the necessary bathroom mission is in many respects the day’s largest challenge. But there is a sweet prize (or two) in breakfast conversation and the promise of another morning some day soon.

Learning how to trust another person it appears has just as much to do with trusting yourself. Gut feeling is a fantastic form of intuition, and should, by and large, be acknowledged. The body is the best compass to the soul.  How MZ and I have used the directions  in our lives’ orienteering has varied tremendously. Our journeys have perhaps been along parallel paths but without a doubt on different plains. Our approaches to the adventure are interesting, in what they says about personality, experience and hope. Fine details of the travel time table converges in our conversation. There is a vast  jungle of  ‘almost-opposites’  which seems almost impossible to navigate. But somewhere there is a  clearing, shielded by a handwoven wall of respect, and in it’s center is a clean, bubbling well of shared enthusiasm and oppinion.

I do not believe in ‘the one’. We, as human beings, are astoundingly adaptable. We can accommodate a fascinating array of unsuitable friends, lovers and idols. An other person is only as suitable as we choose to believe they are.  For now, I believe I have found a fabulously multi-faceted and extremely functional travel partner.

Good to know there is time to explore!

It’s nearing my second midsummer in Sweden and days are skipping by in their usual fairytale style. Much of what has occurred could easily have been conjured by my fantasy but there are occasional reminders that it is in fact reality. As usual, events are nothing short of extreme, and there had been a soul shaking cocktail of sensations. Yesterday swung from refreshment filled meetings with the topcats at the city council to layering on the third coat of kitchen paint and standing the the shower resembling a badly made-up fourteen year old with smudged mascara. Routine and stability are still something that escapes me somewhat.

Goodness gracious, what a lot life changes!

Yesterday my status changed twice.

First from unemployed to employed as, after my first ever interview in Swedish (slightly more nerve racking than muntliga tentor) I was invited to join the Kåren team as the chairperson of Mälardalens högskolas International Committee. It’s going to be a unusually varied, demanding and satisfying job. Huge thanks to my teachers and fellow students who have made it a possibility - and extra thanks to Hubert who will be showing me the ropes over the next couple of weeks.

Secondly, after arriving back in Västerås and being congratulated by the Swede of rather fine form, a delicious home cooked meal and several hours of unending interesting… conversation (!!!) we have decided to take that terrifyingly public step of *changing our relationship status on facebook*.  So it’official. Me and MZ are no longer on the open market. Plans have been made, and we are learning how to Lindy Hop next term.

MZ, the student and regular sportsman is, amongst other things,  also a member of the “dog in the bag” team. Swedish homework anyone?

life is full of unexplainably wonderful things!

It would seem that there should be no such thing as regular routine… or rather, there should be small regular routines enveloped by a non-matching mishmash of experience and ideas. Keeps the brain wandering (if not organised) and healthy.

The weekend has been spent in celebration, desperation and intrepidation. We returned this evening from Hubert’s last IC presidential cruise, and I certainly had not consumed enough alcohol to ignore the dire state of the institution. These gilded, gambling ships with extreme processed fish buffet mark. 2 are, in all honesty, down right depressing. Once you stop to clean up the puke and consider the over muscled buzzcut checking his moves in a Police t-shirt  in the not-so-subtly mirrored elevator door, the polish seems to loose it’s unholy shine and the temptation to jump overboard kicks in. How people survive a summer in service is beyond me. 24 hours of obscenely overweight and grey complexioned fruit-machine players have left me running on empty.

The fact that this gargantuain ship sits in calm open water  for several hours while the majority down drinks in the disco is astounding. That even after the Romanesque all you can eat protein buffet these machines are making money is just testament to the rip off of duty-free shopping; a rip off I gladly partake in because… it is naturally cheaper than buying wine at Syestemet! I am beginning to wonder however if the TLC for my wallet is doing irreparable damage to my soul.

The most terrifying part of the whole charade is that the average age on these wonder-cruises is SIGNIFICANTLY OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW BETTER! They walk around dry skinned and hair frazzled after 12 hours of ‘fantastic party atmosphere’ and a lifetime of “preventative” beauty products. Good gracious, who do they think they are kidding? Sadly, they are most likely only kidding themselves - that this is a worthwhile way to spend Sveriges Nationaldag, or any other for that matter!

Retreated into conversation with Hubert. Plans and the value of belly laughter.

Tomorrow is interview day. Make or break time for my role in the MDH IC. It is an opportunity I crave, because I believe there has to be a better way. There are people here to dare to think outside the tax-free-shopping-box. And their experiences can be shared so my dear friends do not end up like those 40-something beyond all hopers, who while away empty hungover hours at the slot machines. Life is here for the taking - but it’s a lot easier with a little encouragement and support!

So off to bed I go. Good sleep and a goal. Tomorrow is an other day to put the best foot forward.

(Incidentally, I have been reading about the Swedish Institute of Eugenics for much of the evening and can’t help wondering what the hell is going on in this world?!?)

Attempting to write again. The History Assignment. Having a hard time with dedicated concentration. Music goes on, music goes off. Sun is streaming through my window and my head is full of the last 48 hours. On kind of education comes to an end and a whole new treasure chest has sprung open…

Don’t push, there’s no rush. Urgency is reserved for this unwritten essay and Constance’s keys. This unusual calm is related to something else. Something quite indescribable. We have devoted much talk to energy, that universal fund which powers us all. We build our bubbles, decided who can join us inside.

The bubble; an abstract concept the vast majority of us understand. Though we can not see it, do not know how to define it, there is a sense. Our bubbles are little or large. They reject and project. Positive and negative magnetism means that some of us bounce off, and then rest become attached. How many times have we just had a feeling about people. Where their boundaries lie. Their personal space. We throw up a force field until we learn how to trust.

Yesterday the strangest thing happened. I found myself inside an other’s bubble. In an act of caring I received an impromptu neck massage. My guard was down and my mind was open. I placed myself in an other’s hands. An other’s trust. In one of those rare moments usually associated with painting, I was on the verge of disappearance. Meditative peace. And there is was, an envelope of energy, like the curved green glass of a car windscreen.  It passed around us in an aurora and disappeared from consciousness the moment we re-entered conversation.

There are of course consiquences. Some threaten to drown us in a fast flowing flood. This overwhelming unknown. It opens doors, lifts lids off boxes and leaves us totally exposed. There is however, no rush. No need to push. There is no expectation, just a will to understand.

One of my very dearest friends is married. Admittedly the whole affair was arranged in just four days, but it has been long awaited. It is a funny feeling to know my dearest Miss Amin is no longer just that, and instead has a HUSBAND. An unusual thought indeed. We sat and talked it all through last night, and I understand. They have a long lasting love, and it is a practical solution to their dwelling problems. Now they are legally allowed to make plans! In another respect my friend has found security in that it defines their relationship. Not that their relationship needed defining, but it is a clear signal for everyone else who was never quite sure. There is no misconception about friendly flirtatious behaviour. That kind of security is something that sounds, dare I say it, mysigt!

Anyway, now she is off to someone else’s ceremony. In August it is time for K and K to tie the knot and MZ is also off to France to celebrate someone else’s love.

I guess we’re getting old!